It has been a very strenuous day; it started by us being exhausted, and ended with everyone crying.  Shannon and I are not yet asleep, but we, too will probably cry ourselves to sleep.  I’m not going to sugar coat it anything- this day was ugly.

This has been probably the most difficult days of our lives for many reasons.  There are many emotions tied up with everything, and we have two more children  A four year old and an almost-four-year-old!  It is a wonderful and beautiful thing.  We have had fun today, and we are getting to know each other.

So let’s recap the last couple of days.

We awoke around 8:30 today, after falling asleep at about one am (which is after we slept off and on through the entirety of Tuesday.  I actually slept almost the entire way on the plane from Moscow to Vlad (Monday night), then stayed awake as Irina took us all over Vladivostok to do paperwork.  I am very thankful for the work that she has done.  All of that was more or less easy for us- she told me where to sign, and I signed.  So on Tuesday, we got our official court documents, got the paperwork for the passports turned in, and papers copied, and I’m really not sure what else, but there were many other stops.  (They only needed one of us to sign, so Shannon stayed at the hotel and rested).  We both napped and woke up about 8pm, then went to talk to Todd and Rebecca, a couple from Pennsylvania who are adopting as well.  That was a wonderful visit.  We ate supper about 11pm in the hotel (we were at the Hotel Meridian, which was wonderfully inexpensive, but it was not the Vlad Motor Inn- we like the VMI for many reasons (the one exception being COST!)

This morning we awoke and went for a walk with Todd and Rebecca- it was short, because we didn’t have much time.  They had their court date after ours, and so they stayed here in Vladivostok for the entire 10 day waiting period.  Todd is a park ranger, and spent a lot of his time going for walks, and using the various mountains of Vlad as landmarks to get around.  It was helpful to have him explain things to me and a wonderful visit.  The plan was that Irina would bring Nathan to us and for us to leave for the baby home to get Benjamin.  Our plans didn’t quite work out the way we planned because we switched hotels.  It is a good thing, but really threw our plans off-and kept the boys from getting a nap. 

There was no room at the Vlad Motor Inn, which is why we were at the Meridian.  However, Todd and Rebecca planned to move to the VMI today- but they were gracious enough to let us have the room instead (they will move once we leave tomorrow). So Irina brought Nathan Kirill (who we will be calling Kirill for awhile because he doesn’t understand anything else!) and then we packed up very quickly and went to get Benjamin Yaroslav (who we will be calling Yarrig for awhile because he doesn’t understand anything else.) 

We drove to the baby home and got Yarrig, then came and checked in at the VMI and had lunch with Lana and Irina.  We went for a short walk with the boys, and then got ready to go to see the doctor.

The doctor’s visit took over an hour, which combined with two boys who don’t understand you and the fact that they had no nap and what else… oh, absolutely everything in their lives just changed, it was not a pleasant experience.  Fortunately Kirill took a short nap in the car with Lana and Irina.  I spent the time holding Yarrig.  If I didn’t hold him he would run away.  Or fall down.  Or do something dangerous.  The parking area of the doctor’s office was littered with Much Broken Glass, so it was really very important to not let him get away.  I kept thinking, “Oh, if I only had a rubber room!” 

It only got worse from there.  We have no control over them at all.  They speak no English, and we speak no Russian, so there is just no communication.  Yarrig has bitten Kirill three times-completely at random.  I have been spat on, smacked, and Kirill tried to bite me but was unsuccessful. 

The thing is, if someone tells them what to do in Russian, they immediately obey.  So it isn’t that they are horrible children- they are just children who have no idea what parents are who are testing their boundaries to the fullest extent possible and they are doing their best to do whatever they want to do (that is, to be the ones in control).  Which isn’t working for them.  If we let them win, it will only make things worse.  So I suppose it would be much easier if we just let them run amok, but that would serve no purpose.

The Vlad Motor Inn caters to adoptive families, so there are several people here.  Shannon met someone in the hall who asked how things are going.  “Not good at all,” she said.  The woman gave her a hug and said, “Let me give you two of the best pieces of advice someone told me.  It is ok to not like them and it will get better.”  Trust me, that is good advice.  We want to love them, that is why we are adopting, but at this moment… it just isn’t there.  It will come, I am certain.  What we need is that they will love us in return.

We finally got them to sleep by rocking them until they cried- it was the first time Yarrig showed any emotion all day except defiant laughter.  He finally collapsed into bed, and then it was Kirill’s turn to cry until he was too exhausted to continue.

We called Irina for help- we had no idea what to do.  Nothing was working, so Lana came and spoke to the boys-who had just calmed down about 5 minutes before she got there (calmed down out of exhaustion from screaming).  She spoke to them, and they listened, and they fell asleep right after she left.  It is clear that our biggest challenge is the language barrier.

So our prayer requests are thus (and are very urgent):

1.  We are flying to Moscow tomorrow.  Pray for patience for us, and that someone will be on the plane that will help us communicate with the boys.  And that they can deal with being strapped to a chair for 9 hours.

2.  That in Moscow we progressively get better.  Of course we know it won’t get instantly better, but we need them to get onto a schedule- and Moscow is 7 hours behind Vlad which will only hurt things.  Plus, again, absolutely everything is new to the boys.  And Mama and Papa are not on our own turf.

3.  That we have patience (yes, I said that once already).  We did not handle things all that well today.  We are exhausted having traveled, over the last 20 days, flying 30,000 miles and spending 2 nights in New York, 4 nights on an airplane, 2 nights in Moscow, 4 nights in Vladivostok and 7 nights at home.

Like I said, I didn’t sugarcoat anything.  That’s just how it has been.  We knew it would be difficult, and we knew that with two of them it would be even more so.  But it the first day was much worse than we could imagine.  Yet we know that God is in control.  Every step of this process has been difficult, and it has caused us to rely on Him more and more.  This is just another piece where He is showing us our weakness and His glory.  It can only get better!