It has been a rough and tedious first nine days with the boys, but for most of it we have been traveling across the planet or parked in a hotel room. Those circumstances aren’t all that pleasant without two little children who just got everything in their life changed by two people who can’t actually talk to them. But we know it can’t get worse! (Ha ha).
We got back from our flight yesterday with the boys, and Erin and Sam (along with Shannon’s mom & aunt & uncle) greeted us at the airport. It was so good to see them! Sam and Erin were all smiles, and cared more about the boys than about us- I’m really glad about that! The boys were mostly perplexed at the situation. (The flights went Not Good for them-they barely slept at all!) We got to our house, and found it decorated, clean, stocked with food; the lawn was mowed, the tree that fell down during the hottest part of the summer (and I had been waiting to take care of until we got these things taken care of) was cut up and gone. There were gifts for the boys (we have no idea who they came from), things for us, flowers on the table, banners from Erin’s girl scout troop. It was really just overwhelming.
We had a pretty good first evening with the boys. For them it was sensory overload. They have two new siblings, plus a new house, a new room, new toys (not to mention the siblings’ toys). Everything they see is new. Everything is in a new language. New people. New foods. And only 1-2 hours of sleep for the 24 hours leading up to bedtime last night!
We let them play, showed them around, had a bite of supper, and put them to bed. (They fought a lot). They fight sleep horribly, and unlike anything we have ever seen before! But, in the end, they always go to sleep.
Today was a pretty good day. Someday it will be better, of course, but considering what we went through in
Moscow, this was not bad at all. We got up, they had some breakfast, and over the next hour and a half, Sam and Erin trickled in. The boys played most of the morning, with Sam and Erin being the studious and helpful and nice big brother and sister. Later in the morning we played outside, which was great. Have t
hey ever played in a big yard before? They had a swing all to themselves, we kicked a Spiderman ball around the yard. And Sam did, too. He really enjoyed spending time with me.
It’s different with Sam vs. the boys. To the boys, I’m just a guy who they call Papa. But to Sam, I’m Daddy. I’ve been there through every bit of everything with him, from diaper changes to bottle feeding to sickness and potty training to learning to ride a bicycle and rocking to sleep and reading each night. I know him so very well. I know his quirks, the words he still doesn’t pronounce quite right, what foods he loves, the toys he likes, the things that make him angry, the things he is afraid of, his hopes and desires.
Nobody know these things about these boys.
Nobody has taught them these things. They know how to brush teeth and put on clothes, not because someone loved them to do it when they were
too small, but because a worker was assigned to them to do it. They learned to feed themselves because nobody was there to do it for them. I have say, it is just overwhelming to think of. They don’t know the difference between a cat and a guinea pig. They don’t know how to be loved. And the realization that God has called us to bring these two boys-specifically these two boys-to our home to learn all of this about them… it seems almost too much.
Our day went well. We played in the yard, we had a nice lunch, and once again fought them to take nap. I brought the dogs home from the kennel, so they got to meet Heidi and Tessie. Benjamin is very interested in animals- every time we saw one in Moscow, from stray dogs to bunnies on Arbat that you could buy (or maybe they were just there so you could take your picture with them-we can’t read Russian). So we are learning little things about them, but there is so much more work to do. So much more to learn, so much more trust to build. So much to help them understand. But we will get there. We are in our house. We have already made a dentist appointment, we have already spoken to two social workers (from our adoption agency and our home study agency), which has helped. We’re back on our turf, with our people, our refrigerator, our town, our language. This still isn’t going to be easy, but we will get there-little by little.