The Last Day in Moscow

15 Wednesday Sep 2010

Posted by Dan Nelson in Adoption, Russia

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Extreme Strollering, Moscow, Perekhod, Red Square

Ahhhh. We are in the final stages of our trip. For the remainder of our Tuesday (to pick up from yesterday) we went for a walk along Arbat Street. It’s entirely inconvenient to get there with strollers, because in order to do it, you have to go through an underground tunnel (called a perekhod) to cross the street. The perekhods are conveniently easy ways to avoid death by automobile, but entirely inconvenient if you have a wheelchair or, in our case, a stroller. But we went anyway. McDonald’s is on that side of the street- we had to go! We headed out, had our Happy Meals, and strolled the street a bit. We came back to the hotel room and had KOOOPATSAAAAAH(!!!) and then read a bit and went to bed. They have really began to adapt to us. They are going to sleep when we say it is time. We aren’t needing to redirect Benjamin non-stop; he is learning his boundaries. He knows, for example, if he touches the computer it means trouble, so he doesn’t touch it. (Every once in a while it’s too tempting, plus he has to test and see…is this rule still in place?) But I am sure that we will start boundary testing all over again once we get home.

Today has been a tiring day. We, once again, had to get out. So we went (you guessed it) for a walk on Arbat Street. But we didn’t stop there, no, no! We walked all the way to Red Square. It is about a 2.5 mile walk. But I wouldn’t call it as much of a walk as I would “extreme strollering.” We had three of those perekhods. In order to get down them, you must either take the stroller down one step at a time, or carry the entire thing, child and all, down them. I will say, this is one point where Russians are very helpful. We had several strangers help us get down these things. But normally, no. We just tough it out. But it gets us out, gets the boys out, and helps us to see the city. It is a very beautiful city, but we aren’t here to sight see- we are here to collect children. If I was here just to enjoy the city (i.e. my children could walk on their own for 5 miles) I would really enjoy it. But as it stands, it is keeping us from our other children.

So what have we learned on this trip?

Nothing in Russia moves quite the way you want it to.
God is in control, whether you want Him to be or not.
Prayer will be answered.
The most difficult times are the times of most growth.
The Russian government is overbearing, even if they don’t mean to be. (The last two days are only to register the boys so that the Russian government can keep track of them once we get back.)
God always knows what is best, even if you can’t see it at the time.
Russians are just as wrapped up with themselves as everyone else. But it feels much more oppressive here.
If you cherish your bumper, steer clear of Vladivostok.
When hotels look for ways to be “kid friendly,” they come and observe the Hotel Belgrad and then do exactly the opposite.
The cleaning ladies at the Hotel Belgrad are excellent, even if it takes a very long time to communicate.
My wife is awesome when it comes to figuring out children.
Having kids that don’t speak the same language as you is very frustrating, but the conversations are great.
The world does not revolve around any of us.
Roads are for driving, sidewalks are for driving more slowly.
What depravity really looks like. (Parents are a blessing from God-for those that do not have them…well, things get ugly).
What God’s unconditional love looks like. (These kids are fighting us tooth and nail, yet we are polishing them up quite nicely even though they hate it. God does the same thing to us. It hurts to be grown in Christ).
Everyone everywhere is the same… created in the image of God, yet fallen and sinful. The problems in Russia are caused by the same things they are caused by in America-sin.

And what have the boys have learned on this trip?

If you happen to be four years old, or almost four years old, having parents is better than not having parents.
Strollers are awesome.
If these big people we are living with say “no,” then no matter how many times I try I will still get into trouble.
I can’t touch the television.
Having parents that don’t speak the same language as you is very frustrating, but the conversations are great.
Spiting is not appropriate behavior.
I can trust these people called Mama and Papa.
No matter how fast I run, Papa will catch me. (Okay, they haven’t quite figured this one out yet).
If I run from Papa, it is automatic trouble. (No…they haven’t learned this one yet either).
Even if I’m having the most fun in the world during my KOOOPATSAAAAH(!!!) I still can’t do flips in the bathtub without either getting hurt or being removed from koopatsah (or both).
Biting others is NOT a good idea.
Mama and Papa will defend me from my new brother, if needed.

Oh, there is so much more we have done and gotten that I just can’t talk about in the blog! We are beat, we are tired of living out of a suitcase and a little mini-fridge. Nathan continues to be sick. We thought he was doing better this morning but when we got to the Kremlin, we found out he had a fever. We are acquiring a nice Russian medicine supply.

So our prayer requests are this:

We leave tomorrow, and it will be a very long day. We have two flights, the first is 10 hours the second about 2 1/2 hours. We will add an extra 9 hours to our day. We also have to get from the plane, though immigration (which involves paperwork for two new Americans) (though which the nice man who spoke English without a Russian accent at the American Embassy said should not be a problem), switch terminals, and make our flight to St. Louis in 3 hours.
That the boys would behave, more-or-less, on the plane, and sleep. It is going to be a very long day for everyone. (We don’t expect perfection on a 10 hour flight!)
That mom and dad would keep patience during the entire day.
That Nathan (and Shannon) would feel okay during the trip home. We started Nathan on antibiotics due to a sinus infection.
For transitions to our new home, both for the boys getting adjusted to a new life, but also for Erin and Sam adjusting to two new siblings. It will be hard for them to share Mommy and Daddy with these strangers.
For medical care to come quickly and smoothly. Benjamin is really hurting with his teeth. We have been giving him ibuprofen (because we can’t find Tylenol here). He has two teeth that must come out, and come out ASAP. He has already had two others pulled. There may be other teeth with problems as well.

Gotcha Day +5 to +5 1/2: Immigration documents in hand!

14 Tuesday Sep 2010

Posted by Dan Nelson in Adoption, Russia

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Moscow

This will be a short post. It is Tuesday afternoon in Moscow, and everyone else is napping.

Monday went by pretty well. They both slept all night Sunday night, and got up at a good time Monday. We took a short walk (this time down Sadovye Kol’tso street) then I got me some mocha and back to the hotel. Shannon and Nathan aren’t feeling well. Nathan was and still is running a fever, so we headed back to the hotel room. They had lunch, I went to the grocery store by myself. It is getting more comfortable, but I still don’t like it. (So one of the lessons I’ve learned is being comfortable in a foreign city with very little support from someone who can translate-I don’t like it because why would God give me this lesson?)

We had our appointment at the American Embassy and saw a man named David, who we had met on our first trip to Moscow when we had our medical “exams”. (For those who are concerned about your Russian adoption medicals, don’t be. The worst part is spending the money, but it was almost worth it to get a page literally covered in signatures and stamps). We saw David, who was adopting the brother of a boy they adopted a few years ago- they spent three years trying to find him! We got our documents, signed the official statements, raised our right hands and swore that all was right. So they will be American citizens once we arrive back at JFK. Yet they will still be Russian citizens as well. They will have dual citizenship for the rest of their lives.

Last night went really well. They discovered one purpose of Papa includes piggyback rides and getting to ride on feet. We had a great time trying to teach them to say, “Go Up.” Ben caught on, but Nathan just couldn’t get it. It was really funny, and really fun. They didn’t have a nap, but stayed up late enough and slept all night. They did not fight sleep.

Today we got up, and I went to exchange some dollars for rubles (which I did by myself using only the word, “Dollars” and the woman in the Касса using only a calculator). Sasha came and had me sign the documents to register with the Russian Consulate (so the Russian can keep track of Russian citizens living in America, according to the nice man without a Russian accent at our Embassy appointment). We will get those documents back tomorrow, then we get to leave Thursday morning. HOORAY! After that we went for a walk and had some Кофе and took a walk over one of the Moscow River bridges. We came back, had a little snack, and then got the boys to go to sleep.

Nathan has been running a fever the past couple of days and it has gotten worse today. We asked Sasha to help us get some medicine for him, so he walked me to the pharmacy and I bought some azithromycin…for 350 rubles. (That’s about 10 dollars.) Over-the-counter. But it is what we would normally give Sam in the situation. We don’t think that Moscow is good for him. He is, as I mentioned, very weak, very light, and Moscow is full of fumes from traffic and it seems that Shannon and I are the only two non-smokers in the hotel. Tonight we plan to go to eat at Макдоналдс again. It is a bit odd to see the golden arches across the street from the Foreign Affairs building, what is called one of “Stalin’s Seven Sisters,” which dons a large hammer and sickle symbol. Sort of like the picture of Phineas and Ferb. (Or the shopping mall on Red Square.) It just doesn’t seem right, but I can’t put my finger on it… maybe just growing up during the cold war, I guess!

They are beginning to understand us, and beginning to learn rules. They are also beginning to discipline each other when the other breaks the rules… we need to work on that. But Ben is mellowing out a bit. He is very hyperactive, but has touched everything in the little hotel room so many times that he has a good idea of what is acceptable and what gets him in trouble, so our lives have gotten much easier. Shannon and I actually had a conversation while they were awake for the first time. So it is getting better, but we are still here in a little hotel room in a city where we can communicate primarily by pointing at things and nodding our heads and we have no kitchen to cook. And we are two children short! So Thursday really can’t come soon enough!

Gotcha Day +4; Growing Together

12 Sunday Sep 2010

Posted by Dan Nelson in Adoption, Russia

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Adoption, Arbat Street, Koopatsah, Moscow

It has been 5 grueling days since we got the boys. They both have issues and problems-they have both lived a life of rejection and learned survival among others who have also been rejected. I have no doubt the staff at the orphanage/baby home were very nice to them, but I also have no doubt they did not give them the attention needed to make them into functioning members of society.

Benjamin’s Progess

So let’s start with Benjamin. Benjamin has been the problem so long. I have referred to his problems repeatedly, and he has caused us much grief. But we have learned greatly over the last two days, and the little boy is beginning-just beginning-to emerge. So far we have only been able to see a series of bad behaviors. But we have learned how to discipline him. We tried several things, and finally found something he hates. 🙂 And it is beginning to work. We spend every waking moment redirecting him, but he is beginning to trust us more, and understand us. Today he began playing better. He still doesn’t know how to play with toys appropriately, but his playing is actually playing and not just throwing toys at Nathan. Rather than redirecting him non-stop, he is understanding what things are inappropriate and what things are not to be touched. He only touched the computer once today (as opposed to yesterday when he touched it probably a dozen times). He only touched the TV… let’s say five times, which is better than yesterday’s countless times. He bit nobody today. He did not hurt anyone today. He had a great conversation with Nathan (about what we don’t know, we can only imagine, though). He sat through two Thomas the Tank Engine Storybooks, and Shannon taught him to count to eight. He is starting to repeat words in English as well. After lunch he even said, “I’m finished!” (I didn’t catch that-Shannon pointed it out. “Did you hear that?” she asked. I had to think about it, but wow, that is really impressive). He really acted like a little boy all day today. I think on the first day I mentioned he acted more like a feral dog than a little boy, and I am very serious when I say it. But I have also described the changes he made. Honestly, they day we picked him up he went outside to play, we came and got him straight from the playground, put him in the car while Irina told the director that we had him, and he was gone. He said goodbye to nobody. He had never met us before. An entirely new life, instantly. Today he let us touch him more, and even let me tickle him just a little bit. He really likes to help with things. Make no doubt we have a very very long way to go, but it was better.

Nathan’s Day

Nathan had issues today. He has a lot of anger. Fortunately, he is too weak to cause any damage. He fought and fought against me today, and lost every bit. He took a lot of frustration out… against my index finger. Literally. He tried to squeeze, pull, bite, but it never caused any damage. (He didn’t bite, he only tried). He is so physically frail. He is four years old yet weighs about the same as our rat terrier. Granted we have a fat rat terrier, but he’s four years old! He could pass for a two year old! But that will change quickly. He has a big appetite, and we have food. He will grow and grow strong. His issues today revolved around nap time. Why they fight naptime so badly I do not understand, but wow do they ever fight. It didn’t help that he got into trouble right before nap time. It actually took him longer to get nap started (Ben only took 1 hour and 15 minutes. Only, haha). He is continuing to learn. We had a great conversation about language today. He would tell me the name of something, and I would tell him the English word, then he would repeat it a few times. It was going good until we got to the pillow.

“Shto eta?” I asked.

“Eta paduska.”

“Good,” I said, tapping it. “Pillow.”

“Nyet, paduska.”

“Yes, but it is a pillow.”

“Nyet, it is a paduska!”

So he is starting to mix some English and Russian together. I would say he’s got about 15-20 words and Ben has about 5-10 words (which may be better if he remembers the numbers).

Names

They are responding to their new names very well. If I call Nathan, Nathan responds. If I call Benjamin, Benjamin responds. We still call them by their old names a bit (which are their middle names) but they understand the new ones, too. As for my name, I honestly do not want to be called “Papa.” I want to be Daddy. I will be Papa for as long as they need to call me that, because they don’t have a reference to the word Daddy. But then, they don’t really have a reference for what Daddy or Papa really are, so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.

Food

Our biggest issue today was over food. They fought all day, but what two four year old boys confined to a little hotel room wouldn’t? They acted very normal today. But they had some serious issues over snack time before bed. Nate dropped some food, and Ben picked it up-being a helper. But Nathan freaked out, because he thought he was trying to get his food. But he wasn’t. They kept going back and forth. Finally we separated them. At one point Nathan pushed his away-showing out in a temper tantrum-and so I did what I always do when presented with this sort of temper tantrum. If you push something away in anger, I will take it away. (Sam used to do the same thing). And he freaked out again. So food is a very serious issue. Tonight they were running and playing and Benjamin spotted a chip under the chair. It was the most pitiful thing I think I have ever seen. He literally dove for it, squatted down and ate it with both hands just in case someone else might try to claim it. It was so horribly sad. As for the food issues, they still were kind of arguing back and forth and Shannon said, “I know how to end this. Ho’chesh budium koopatsah?” Koopatsah is the four-year-old-Russian equivalent of winning the powerball. A koopatsah is a bath, and I have never seen two children get so excited about bath time. They run and tell each other that it is time, yelling “KOOPATSAH!!!!” I’ll have to talk more about Koopatsah later.

Choosing Battles

We have also chosen to choose battles. Hurting someone is serious trouble. Not sharing is trouble. Throwing things inappropriately, touching things you have been told not to touch, spitting… all trouble. But other things we let slide. Spit your water into your cup and drink it… we’ll get back to that one. We’ve made enough changes, we’ll get to some things later!

Arbat Street, Again

We woke today to a very dreary Moscow morning. It was chilly and rainy. But there is no way we can stay in this hotel and keep our sanity, so we ventured out down Arbat Street again. Our main goal: Starbucks. There are two, about 2 blocks apart. We had a good walk. Arbat Street is an old street closed off to auto traffic. It was very quiet on Sunday morning, so we strolled along, got a couple of

souvenirs among the many shops and just hung out. Yay strollers! We had lunch at Sbarro on Arbat, and just a generally decent time. Both boys really love their strollers. LOVE THEM. They get excited when I get them down out of the closet to go out!

I can honestly say, this day was enjoyable. We have a very long way to go, and we will certainly have setbacks, but we are so thankful for the progress made.

Prayer Requests

Prayer requests now, continue to be for our growth in God. Today was another exceptional day of prayer and relying on Him. Yes it was a very hard day, but it was also a good day. There is such a mix of emotions going on, but today was the first day we felt rested. We all slept all night, and I am typing this not falling asleep over the keyboard like I have been. I have been posting really the minimal because I was just too tired to do anything else. Mostly our requests are the same. That the boys would continue to grow in their trust. They still are very unsure of us. They still don’t really like us. We still don’t love them like our own children, but like I mentioned before, we are determined that we will! But we are all growing closer to one another. There has been improvement there. But if we left tomorrow, and a new couple came to be Mama and Papa would they really care? I don’t know that they would. We haven’t bonded yet, but we are getting there. Shannon and Nathan aren’t feeling that well. They both are having prob

lems with sinus drainage and just feeling under the weather. Nate had a little bit of a fever, but we have found Claritin for mom, Zyrtec for Nate, and Ibuprofen for Ben’s teeth and Nate’s fever. Please pray that our health would be good for the rest of the trip, and that we would get through each day. We are very homesick-we miss our kids, our house, our ability to communicate with everyone we come into contact with, our dogs. We are just stuck here. Also pray for our trip to the US Embassy tomorrow. I’m not sure what to expect from it! Our meeting is at 2pm Mosc ow Time (5am Cape Time). That is right in the middle of nap time, so we may have troubles tomorrow night!

Gotcha Day +3, Still in Moscow

11 Saturday Sep 2010

Posted by Dan Nelson in Adoption, Russia

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Mocow

Yes. We are in Moscow. It seems like it has been forever, but it has only been 3 nights. Four more to go. We have learned some good things. For example, having a child with you seems to entitle you to special privileges. Russians seem to hate lines, and prefer mobs instead, but if you walk up holding a child, the seas part, and you get to go first. It is actually refreshing. On the other hand, dear Russians, if someone asks you “Do you speak English” and the only word you know in English is “Yes,” then that would not be the time to use that particular word. But thankfully, a large percentage of the population speaks “a little” English, and we can get through our day with broken English, random Russian words, pointing and holding up the number of fingers of the things we want.

We had an adventure today because we decided we needed strollers. We didn’t get strollers before we left, because we thought it would be okay, but after these 3 days, we decided that they would be very helpful. (And after walking with them down to Arbat street-two blocks away… they crashed and burned pretty quickly. Strollers would be a good thing.)

I realize many are saying “but they’re too old for strollers”. Not really. They are very small children. Nathan doesn’t weight 25 pounds, and is four years old. He is too small to fit into the 2T clothes we brought. Ben is only slightly bigger.

Strollers. We asked the man at the hotel desk where we might find them and the only place he knew of was a place that would have them, but “there they are very expensive.” But we tried it. We got a taxi and took off. He was right- there they were very expensive. It was one of those boutique stores, and the least expensive stroller was $400. So we asked our taxi driver if he knew of any other place, but he didn’t speak English very well. It turns out he was a friend of Sasha (who went to his country home because it was the weekend). We called him, and he directed his friend to a children’s hypermarket. So the driver went there, and then helped us with the transaction. We bought us two strollers, but they didn’t take credit cards (and we didn’t have that many rubles on us) so our driver found out where there was an ATM. So we made a 10,000 ruble withdrawal, which covered two still expensive strollers and the taxi fare. (I thought the price for the cab was excellent, considering he waited for us, carried one of the strollers for us, and Ben puked in his car twice.)

And the boys LOVE strollers. They both thoroughly enjoyed them. We used them to go get lunch: pastries from a little shop under the street. But they weren’t really pastries, they were baked breads with stuff in them. Some were sweet, but most were meats. We had the hot dogs and I got one with cheese and mushrooms. And there are several tunnels that go under the busier streets so that no pedestrians have to cross these streets. The tunnels have a name, but I don’t know it. They are tunnels with shops in them. With good prices. I got a liter of Pepsi for 50 rubles. That isn’t bad at all.

We also used the strollers for going to the grocery store. It made the trip much better.

We continue to learn more about the boys. We’ll start with Nathan. Nathan is a very smart, well rounded little boy. We watched him playing really well tonight. He has a great imagination (he used his Lego blocks to build a gun- simple and crude, but that’s abstract thought.) He has started repeating English words to us. Just a couple here and there, but each day it grows ever so slightly. When we say, “Nathan!” he looks up and comes to us. So, he is learning his new name.

Benjamin, on the other hand, has some serious issues. We don’t know how deeply they go. He seems to be sincerely trying to get us to reject him. The poor little guy doesn’t realize that no matter how much he fights, we will not give up on him. I got bitten pretty hard today. I also got smacked, pinched, and spat upon. Yet no matter what he couldn’t make us go away. He is very intelligent-there is no doubt about that. He started singing “You Are My Sunshine” today with Shannon (with no intelligible words, but the tune was right). But he cannot focus on any given task for more than about 15-20 seconds. He does sometimes listen to an entire Thomas the Tank Engine storybook. And he already is calling them books, and yells “Peep Peep!” when we start to read. And on the airplane I got him to color with me for a few minutes. But he has no idea how to play with toys. Every toy he either chews on or throws. Nor does he look at the books, but he throws them, too. He is very upset that his new car only has three wheels, but when you bite one of them off, there isn’t much that can be done about it. He has such a long way to go, and is the source of 99% of our struggles. If both boys were like Nathan, this would be a very fun and enjoyable time. We would probably venture out to the zoo, or maybe take a walk (with strollers) to Red Square. But they aren’t. We spent six of our 24 hours trying to get him to sleep today. He fights it. He fights us. We have no support team here. So we are really in a sort of survival mode. We spend the entire time we are awake redirecting him. He Things are moving in the right direction, though.

Now I said, “if both boys were like Nathan” but I want to make sure that everyone understands that we do not regret the boys we have. We wish the baby home would have given us a better heads up, but knowing that he is the way he is would not have deterred us. We are not adopting to make us a happy little family. We are adopting because we were called by God to serve in this manner. Because two little boys on the far side of the world need a place where they will be loved and will grow. We do it because He adopted us. We are seeing the gospel all over this. As I watch Ben fighting me-I get frustrated. Yet my frustration is me fighting against God. He is sovereign, and has put this very difficult task before us. We had no idea it would be so difficult. But he has been preparing me for something for some time. I have told several people that he was going to do “something” in our lives. I cannot explain how I knew it, but I knew something incredibly difficult was coming. I think this is it. (Actually I thought it would be something different than this- but this is really very close to what I thought). Sorry if that sounds enigmatic, but I do not know how to describe it. I was being prepared for some unknown thing.

But we got the boys to bed fairly quickly. We have prayed and cried more than we have ever done before. I have begun praying regularly with Shannon, which I am sad to say was by far the exception than the rule. It is a difficult time in a difficult place and we desperately miss Erin and Sam.

So please pray that we would continue to get to know the boys and their idiosyncrasies. That Ben would begin to trust us. (Right now he does not like us to touch him). That fear would leave him. That both boys would bond with us. That Erin and Sam would continue to enjoy their time with Grandma. (Spending last weekend with cousins in Kentucky and the fair coming up this week has helped tremendously.) Pray that Shannon and I would continue to grow closer to God and one another. That we would have the strength to endure four more nights in a foreign city with two boys we don’t really know. And that which we fear the most-our trip home Thursday (adding an extra 9 hours to the day because of time zone changes, 12-13 hours in an airplane, and getting to meet new siblings). The trip from Vladivostok to Moscow was not bad at all, but I think that was mainly because they were still in shock and terror of having left everything they had ever known behind. They will have a week, and will be more comfortable (and likely more unruly) by then.

Thank you everyone, again, for all of the help and support you have given. We have been given clothes, beds, food, money, prayer, a housecleaning (yay!), babysitting, and so many other little things. Thank you, everyone!

Gotcha Day +2; Learning about our New Lives

10 Friday Sep 2010

Posted by Dan Nelson in Adoption, Russia

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We made it to naptime

Here, I begin typing during nap time. I am posting this at 2pm Moscow Time. We are not having a fun day; we have two little boys who still don’t know what parents are, and that every contest that they get into with them will result in total loss for children. But they are both very strong willed, and it is wearing out the parents greatly. But the parents have the power of God who is granting patience and strength and compassion.

Last night went pretty well. Nathan slept all night- he went to sleep about 9pm and slept through the night until about 7am. That would be a normal night in the orphanage for him. Of course, it was really 4am Vladivostok time that he fell asleep, but he slept the night. Benjamin, on the other hand, had some issues. He was so exhausted from the long day that he fell asleep pretty quickly at about 9pm. He woke me up about 3:30am (so he could have been awake 5 minutes or 2 hours) in his bed singing. We tried to tell him to sleep, but again-language barrier. Finally I asked Shannon, “What would we do if Sam was acting this way?” And so we put him in bed with us. He didn’t like it at first, but we played some music on the computer (we only have two songs, so we looped them) and he fell right asleep. Shannon has discovered that he really likes music. He slept really well until about 7am, and then had a bad dream.

Our morning was pretty nice. Breakfast went wonderfully. I went to the store by myself last night. It’s only across the street from the hotel, but wow that feels like an accomplishment for me. (I went to McDonald’s earlier yesterday, too, by myself. I’m so proud! But I do regret not spending enough time in Rosetta Stone!) So far today was not too bad until nap time. Nathan only got hit with a book one time, and so far nothing in the hotel room is broken. (Well, the TV doesn’t work, but that is only partially their fault-it involves the cable being attached with electrical tape so that once it came out it wouldn’t go back in). The boys behaved pretty well, but again, not good. But not like they were demon possessed like on the first night. We watched a little TV (it was still working then) and read a couple of books. Shannon went down to the lobby and asked a couple of questions and had a cup of coffee (which we can only drink in the lobby-we can’t bring the cups up to our room), then I went down and checked my e-mail and had some coffee myself. Sasha came and got our documents ready for the embassy. We have an appointment on Monday to go for our interview so that we can get visas for the boys. By doing it this way, the boys will be US citizens as soon as we land at JFK. So that leaves us in a foreign land for 3 days (the rest of today, Saturday and Sunday and half of Monday) alone with nobody really to help us with two boys who can’t speak to us. We are really afraid. We then have Tuesday and Wednesday to register with the Russian consulate office. Why it takes so long, I do not understand. We need to get home!

Naptime was, what’s the word… traumatic? I think that’s a good choice of words. For some reason, Benjamin hates to go to sleep. He fights it. Erin fought it, and so I would walk her around the house and sing to her. So maybe fight isn’t the right word. It is beyond fighting. It took an hour-and-a-half of working with him to get to sleep, and he was so incredibly tired!! It involved screaming and spitting and hitting but in the end we won (note he was the one hitting and screaming and spitting). It was a hard battle, but he is so tired that he simply cannot function. He must sleep. Kirill is fought it as well, but understands naptime a little better, and so gradually (once new brother wore himself out to sleep) fell asleep on his own. Shannon went right after that, and we have decided to sleep in shifts. Hopefully they stay asleep- Moscow traffic is horrible, and for reasons only known to Muscovites, they enjoy laying on their horns when they aren’t moving. All of them at the same time. So we are staying on a major loop around the inner part of the city, and there may be a hundred cars honking at once. Just for fun, I guess.

So we have another half of a day to go. I will be so thankful to be back at home, where we can speak to people we understand, and our support network is available. At home we have doctors and social workers and friends and family who can help us. Here we have facebook messages from everyone and prayer. So thank you thank you all! They are very helpful! We appreciate the messages and the prayers; right now that is what is keeping us going. Because we are limited in internet access, we have very little access to Erin and Sam (aka “our children who already speak English”). We haven’t spoken to them since we left on Sunday, and that has been extremely difficult. It doesn’t help we are so very tired. I think I am actually doing better than Shannon, but this has been such a busy and tedious 3 weeks for us (30,000 miles is circumventing the earth more than once) in multiple cities, states, and countries. Countless lines to get onto planes and get through immigration and eating what we can find because we don’t have a fridge and pantry of food (although we do have a fridge, and we have made us a little pantry in the closet. Right now it has two bananas, some shortbread cookies, and bread.

The language barrier isn’t moving much. A funny example, I tried to teach Nathan the word “Bread”. I said, “Skaghee bread.” (Say bread). And he responded with “Hlep” the Russian for bread. I said, “No, b-r-e-a-d.” to which he responded, “H-l-e-p.” It was great. So they aren’t getting far very fast, but we are working with them. We are saying the Russian (which is oh, so limited) and then the English. We are doing the same with their names. When I blog, I sometimes refer to them with their new names and sometimes with their old. Right now they are interchangeable. Nathan is Kirill and Benjamin is Yarrig or Yaroslav. So far we haven’t called them much by their new names, because they just don’t understand. I wonder if they will still remember Russian after a few months. They do, after all, have each other to communicate with.

But make no doubt, this is a difficult time for us, but we are not discouraged. We are at the most difficult time in the process. And we are making it. Day-by-day and moment-by-moment. We are getting there. But believe me that Thursday cannot come quickly enough.

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The Nelson Chronicles

~ Family, Marriage, Adoption

Category Archives: Russia